Road trip

Back from a great weekend away with friends in Bend. We hadn't been to Central Oregon before, so it was nice to see the sunny side of the Cascades, though this still happens to be February. It's only three hours southeast of here, but it looks a lot like some of west Texas and eastern New Mexico minus the volcanic peaks in the distance.

Skied all day Saturday at Mount Bachelor. It'd been years since we were last on the slopes. I'd forgotten how much fun that is. It came right back to Amy, of course, and I eventually remembered how to make it down the mountain on my skis rather than my ass.

Heard a great song during the drive with Mike and Susan. It had us cracking up over all the funny -- and all-too-accurate -- references to Oklahoma. Particularly southeastern Oklahoma. Considering our "people," as the song says, are from those parts, it's OK for us to laugh about this.

"Choctaw Bingo" by James McMurtry
Check it out on iTunes -- all 8-plus minutes of it. Meanwhile, here are the lyrics:

Strap them kids in
Give 'em a little bit of vodka in a Cherry Coke
We're going to Oklahoma to the family reunion for the first time in years
It's up at Uncle Slayton's cause he's getting on in years

You know he no longer travels but he's still pretty spry
He's not much on talking and he's just too mean to die
And they'll be comin' down from Kansas and from West Arkansas
It'll be one great big old party like you never saw

Uncle Slayton's got his Texan pride
Back in the thickets with his Asian bride
He's got an Airstream trailer and a Holstein cow
He still makes whiskey 'cause he still knows how

He plays that Choctaw bingo every Friday night
You know he had to leave Texas but he won't say why
He owns a quarter section up by Lake Eufaula
Caught a great big ol' blue cat on a driftin' jug line

Sell his hardwood timber to the shipping mill
Cooks that crystal meth because the 'shine don't sell
He cooks that crystal meth because the 'shine don't sell
You know he likes his money, he don't mind the smell

My cousin Roscoe, Slayton's oldest boy
From his second marriage up in Illinois
He was raised in East St. Louis by his momma's people where they do things different
Thought he'd just come on down

He was going to Dallas, Texas, in a semi-truck
Called from that big McDonald's
You know the one they built up on that great big ol' bridge
Across the Will Rogers Turnpike

Took the Big Cabin exit, stopped and bought a couple of cartons of cigarettes
At that Indian smoke shop with the big neon smoke rings in the Cherokee Nation
Hit Muskogee late that night, somebody ran a stoplight at the Shawnee Bypass
Roscoe tried to miss 'em but he didn't quite

Bob and Mae come up from a little town
Way down by Lake Texoma where he coaches football
They were 2A champions now for two year running
But he says they won't be this year, no they won't be this year

And he stopped off in Tuska' at that "Pop's Knife and Gun" place
Bought a SKS rifle and a couple full cases of that steel-core ammo
With the Berdan primers from some East bloc nation that no longer needs 'em
And a Desert Eagle, that's one great big ol' pistol

I mean .50-caliber, made by badass Hebrews
And some surplus tracers for that old BAR of Slayton's
Soon as it gets dark, we're gonna have us a time
We're gonna have us a time

Ruth Ann and Lynn come down from Baxter Springs
That's one hell-raisin' town way up in southeastern Kansas
Got a biker bar next to the lingerie store
That's got them Rolling Stones lips up there where everyone can see 'em
And they burn all night
You know they burn all night
They burn all night

Ruth Ann and Lynn, they wear them cut-off britches and those skinny little halters
And they're second cousins to me, man, I don't care
I want to get between 'em with a great big ol' hard on
Like an old bois d' arc fence post you could hang a pipe-rail gate from
Do some twisted sisters 'til the cows come home
And we'd be havin' us a time

Uncle Slayton's got his Texan pride
Back in the thickets with his Asian bride
He's cut that corner pasture into acre lots
He sells 'em owner financed, strictly to them that's got no kind of credit

Cause he knows they're slackers
When they miss that payment, then he takes it back
He plays that Choctaw bingo every Friday night
Drinks that Johnny Walker at that Club 69

We're gonna strap them kids in
Give 'em a little bit o' Benadryl and a Cherry Coke
We're going to Oklahoma
Gonna have us a good time